I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
