Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize