Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
There r osticjed everywhere
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
