I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
