Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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