i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
