You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
