I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
