we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
