Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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