I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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