if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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