Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Randomize
