Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
