After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
