Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize