I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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