At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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