Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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