I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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