whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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