I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
