I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
