do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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