i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
