so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
