how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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