I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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