I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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