Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
