It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
