I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize