Midget sex pt 2 tonight
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize