I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
