What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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