I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
