just tell him i said nine months
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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