Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
