I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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