I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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