Non-Jews are for practice
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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