Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
