I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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