I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
