There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
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