I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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