Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
