We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
