thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
