I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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