Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
