And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
