She announced her abortion via fbk
this boner is exhausting
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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