Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
