Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
