i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize