sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
