; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
