I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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