i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
two words: eviction party
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
