I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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