I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize