he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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