hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
