Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
